Sunday, March 13, 2011

Gold aka You should have invested in this!

Hau is everybody doing!? (See what I did there? No? You will.)

That's nice. Let's talk about gold! You know, the awesome, valuable, malleable, yellow-but-not-really-yellow metal that's worth lots of money and getting more expensive by the minute? That stuff!

Oh man, I bet you're thinking to yourself, why didn't I invest in gold!? Why didn't I listen to those annoying infomercials that told me how super smart it would be to invest in gold!?

Oh well. It's too late now. To make up for it, why don't I tell you about it, so the next time you hear people talking about investing in it, you can say "Hey! Wanna hear all the interesting information I learned about GOLD!?"

And they can say, "No."

Let's get started!

On the periodic table (see below), gold is represented by the symbol Au. (Do you see now what I did? :D Lame? Eh, whatever.) The Au comes from the Latin word for gold, which is 'aurum'.

The Atomic number, the number of Protons in the nucleus, is like an ID number for the element, and also determines where it goes on the table. Gold is at the 79th level of win, in the elemental championship! You can use this number and subtract it from the mass number, the big one at the bottom, to figure out how many neutrons are in the nucleus. If you're desperate to know just how neutral an element is. You know, in case of an element war, or something.

Or something. >.>

Gold has been super popular since the beginning of recorded history. That's over 8000 years! Gold's got that longevity going for it. It's been used as currency and as a currency backer for a hell of a long time in many different cultures.

Humans have mined over 165,000 tonnes of it in the course of human history. Holy crap!

Gold is also the most malleable of all metals, making it extremely workable and possibly explaining its popularity as a focus for jewelry. That, and the fact that it's really shiny! In fact, if beaten enough, gold can be come so thin as to be translucent. That means light gets through. Whaaaaat!?

Gold quality is measured in carats. Not carats like with the weight of a diamond. This runs by percentage. Don't get those two confused. The scale of karats runs as follows:

24 karat = 100% gold
Too soft for jewelry

22 karat = 91.7% gold
Very soft — not recommended for jewelry

18 karat = 75.0% gold
Recommended for fine jewelry

14 karat = 58.3% gold
Recommended for jewelry

12 karat = 50.0% gold
Not acceptable for jewelry

10 karat = 41.7% gold
The legal karat limit considered as real gold in the United States

*chart provided by*

So, in order to be called real gold, 41.7% of the metal must be gold. Just like 40% of Taco Bell's 'meat product' must be actual meat. How's that working out for ya, Taco Bell?

Gold jewelry pieces have been around for about 6000 years, and has served as a means of demonstrating power, wealth, or love ever since.

Our malleable metal friend has occurred in stories and legends throughout history, with such stories as Jason, the Argonauts and the Golden Fleece, and King Midas whose touch could turn anything to gold.

Totally cool! Except...

I wonder if he was the original Goldmember! O__O

Believe it or not, many civilizations used Gold medicinally to treat a number of ailments(!). It was so beautiful, it just had to be good for you! Oh, if only.

Interestingly enough, however, gold in a salt form can help with inflammation, and injectable gold is used to help the pain of rheumatoid arthritis and tuberculosis.

Ain't that some shit!

So remember kiddies, gold is amazing! Just don't eat it for a head ache, or you might not ever feel anything again. Heavy metal poisoning is a doozy!!

The other faces of gold:

And last, but certainly not least:

Sites referenced:


  1. Nor gold nor platinium should be used as wealth... they are both very important for reaseraching and medical reasons (implants)

  2. Is it bad I'm still laughing at the taco bell joke?

  3. @Stare Dad: That's an interesting view point, and an excellent point. I appreciate the input! :)

    @L.I.I: Bad? No, certainly not! :D Glad I could make you laugh.